


Don't You Be Afraid Of Where This Will Go

by OwenToDawn



Series: Fanxy Child - OT5 [6]
Category: FANXY CHILD (Band), korean hip hop
Genre: Coming Untouched, Dirty Talk, Emotional Sex, F/F, Finger Sucking, Hand Jobs, Kink Demonstrations, Kink Exploration, M/M, Multi, Non-Sexual Kink, Painplay, Scratching, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27760435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwenToDawn/pseuds/OwenToDawn
Summary: In his mind’s eye, he can see it, Dongwook shaking and overwhelmed beneath his hand, forced out of his head until he can’t think, until he’s just something for Hyoseob to shape and mold. Until the stress and anxiety and self-doubt is beaten to nothing.
Relationships: Hong Yeeun | Jvcki Wai/Jennie Kim, Jung Dongwook | Penomeco/Shin Hyoseob | Crush, Seunghyun | Millic/Dongwook | Penomeco/Hyuk | Dean/Hyoseob | Crush/Jiho | Zico
Series: Fanxy Child - OT5 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628101
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Don't You Be Afraid Of Where This Will Go

**Author's Note:**

> Look I know this series is supposed to be just Fanxy Child but I'm warning you now I am going to write one fic about just Jennie and Jvcki cuz I had way too much fun writing them in this fic
> 
> Mild spoilers but a warning note: Hyoseob and Dongwook observe a kink scene between Jennie and Jvcki for the purposes of learning and everything is negotiated beforehand but there's no actual F/M interactions
> 
> Comments and kudos are loved! 
> 
> Title from Polaroid by Yunhway which is basically all I listened to writing this

“You…huh.”

Hyoseob swallows as Ye-eun squints at him and then leans closer as if she’ll suddenly find the answer to the question she hasn’t asked if she looks in his eyes. Apparently, she doesn’t find it because she leans back a moment later and shakes her head.

“I don’t get it,” she says, turning away and sitting down in Hyuk’s studio chair, one leg crossed over the other and folding her arms across her chest.

"Don’t get what?” Hyoseob asks.

"I know too much about your sex lives,” she says. “I can maybe see Seunghyun being into pain play. Maybe. But you? Doesn’t make sense.”

Hyoseob gets her point. He wouldn’t have pegged himself as someone who would be curious about harming a partner either. More than anyone else, he’s aware of how soft he can be. In his ideal world, he’d spend every day of his life doting on his partners. The issue is that ever since he became closer to Ye-eun from her friendship with Jiho, he’s been more curious about what she does and how it actually helps her partners.

“I like caring for people. I don’t get how what you do is caring and I want to understand it.”

“Why? Does someone want that from you? You don’t have to tell me who,” she says.

Hyoseob shakes his head. “No. Or, if they do, no one has mentioned it. I just…am interested.”

Ye-eun leans back, rocking the chair side to side with the one foot she has on the ground as she plays with a strand of pink hair, twisting it through her fingers. “Like…academically?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Genuinely, I don’t know if it’s something I’d like, and I’m not comfortable trying it out on someone I love when I don’t understand it or know what I’m doing.”

“Fair enough,” she says. “Fine. I’ll talk to some of my partners and see if anyone is interested in having an audience. If you pop a boner though, I’ll throw you out.”

There’s not a lot that can make Hyoseob feel as though he’s been thrown off balance, but the idea of such a thing happening in front of Ye-eun of all people is horrifying.

"I don’t think that will be a problem,” he says.

Before she can answer, the studio door opens and Hyuk frowns when he enters and sees them before rolling his eyes. “Since when did my place become a commune for everyone?”

“Since you decided to be in a polyamorous and sickeningly sweet relationship with four other guys,” Ye-eun says, standing up and heading towards the door as Hyuk steps further inside.

“Both of you out,” Hyuk says, but he sounds fond, not irritated.

Hyoseob pauses to press a kiss to Hyuk’s temple before he moves to follow Ye-eun outside. Before he can though, Hyuk grabs his wrist, the frown back on his face.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. I do want to talk to you guys about something later though, if that’s okay. No rush,” Hyoseob says.

“Oh…”

“Everything’s fine,” Hyoseob says, almost regretting saying anything at all. “It’s nothing bad, or even that serious honestly, I just want to talk it out with everyone.”

After a moment, Hyuk nods and lets him go, turning back to his desk and the seat Ye-eun had vacated. Hyoseob leaves him to his work and contemplates how he’s actually going to even bring up the topic with all of them.

-.-

It’s not that big of a deal, really, and Hyoseob knows that. They’ve all tried a variety of different things with each other, things that have failed or been great, things that have been just downright awkward and ended with them giving up and trying something that was much more familiar instead. His interest in exploring what it would be like to help someone through pain is hardly groundbreaking in the grand scheme of things.

What it comes down to is what he told Ye-eun. The last thing he wants to do is hurt any of his partners in a bad way because he doesn’t understand what it is he even wants out of the whole arrangement. Going by the expressions on everyone’s faces when he explains it at Jiho’s place, he can’t help but feel a little stupid. Really, it would make more sense to him to go to his partners before a friend, and it’s evident from their expressions that this must be the thought on all their minds. Well. Almost all of them.

Dongwook seems to reach a different conclusion.

"If it were anyone else, I’d insist you try it with us first,” Dongwook says, picking the words with a slow but even tone as if he’s being careful about what he’s saying. Knowing Dongwook, he’s hyperaware of making sure not to step on anyone’s toes or make anyone feel as if their own feelings are stupid. “But you’re…you. I don’t think you’d be able to explore something like that with us comfortably. You’d be too worried about hurting us.”

“Isn’t hurting us the point?” Jiho asks.

Out of all of them, Jiho looks the most uncomfortable with the idea. He’s not the one Hyoseob would have approached about it anyways – Jiho’s desire for gentle touches and validation is well known by all of them by now. The only tears he sheds from sex are when he’s overwhelmed by his own emotions.

“It doesn’t have to be about that,” Dongwook says. “It can be about seeing what someone is willing to endure for you, and that creates its own connection and then…” He trails off, his cheeks going red with a flush when he notices the rest of them staring at him. “I…have read up on it a lot. And me and Ye-eun talk about it a lot too, like. Abstractly.”

His words, more than anything, make him appreciate Ye-eun. The fact that she happily spoke to them both about the topic without revealing how the other felt to him shows how much she takes it seriously. Of course, he’d always known that. She’d been instrumental in helping Jiho feeling comfortable bottoming, even just as a friend.

“So you’re not planning on doing anything sexual with her?” Seunghyun asks.

Hyoseob shakes his head. “No. I would assume her partner might be naked but nothing overtly sexual would be happening between them and I would only be observing.”

“I’m not opposed to this,” Hyuk says. “And if you decide you actually want to try it out, I’m willing to try.”

That doesn’t surprise him at all. His bond with Hyuk has always been…he hesitates to say tighter, but in many ways Hyuk understands him with little communication being necessary. From the moment they’d met, it’s like they’d been on the same wavelength, whereas with everyone else, the comfortable familiarity developed over time. It’s only natural that if he did this for real, Hyuk would want to be involved even if it wasn’t to his taste.

“Can I…” Dongwook stops, as if unaware he’d even started speaking until everyone turned to look at him again. For a moment, Hyoseob thinks he isn’t going to continue. Then, he takes a deep breath and tries again. “Can I go with you?”

“I don’t see why not,” Hyoseob says. “I’ll ask Ye-eun. I just didn’t realize you were also into this.”

“I don’t know if I am,” Dongwook says in a rush.

Jiho groans and flops back on the couch, both hands rubbing down his face. “How are we still this bad at talking to each other?”

“It’s new territory,” Hyuk says, patting Jiho’s thigh. “No one has any experience here.”

“Okay sure, but we all agree that no one is judging anyone else for what they do or don’t like, right?” Jiho asks, putting his hands back down in his lap and looking at the rest of them.

“Right,” Hyoseob says. “Even if it is something I decide I like, if no one likes it, I don’t mind going without it. This isn’t…something I’d categorize as something I would need from a relationship. Actually, I’d feel worse knowing someone was putting up with something so serious when they didn’t like it just to make me happy. It would take the enjoyment out of it.”

The anxiety that had been evident in every line of Jiho’s body since the moment Hyoseob brought the topic up seems to drain right out of him. More than any of them, Jiho has a tendency to push himself to be what people want him to be. It’d taken years to convince him to turn off that part of his brain at least in their personal life, when it was just the five of them, and Hyoseob hates that he made him feel as if he’d have to provide something he didn’t want for even a moment.

Dongwook being so open about his own interest, coupled with the assertions Hyoseob would be sure to reiterate with regards to no one needing to share his interest, undoubtedly helped. He is surprised by Dongwook’s interest though. It’s not as though Dongwook is particularly vanilla. The things they’ve done with Seunghyun have been more than enough proof that he likes to be more adventurous, but he still wouldn’t have guessed Dongwook might share his interest. Perhaps it’s because he’s spent so much time being ashamed of his own.

While Dongwook had certainly improved in the communication department, he’s still more likely to play things close to his chest. Like many things, it’s just another trait he has in common with Hyuk. It’s nice to know that Dongwook is willing to be more open about his interests, and even more, it’s nice to know he’s willing to explore it with Hyoseob. It certainly takes the edge off the shame he feels.

Now it’s just a matter of figuring out if it’s actually worth all the trouble.

-.-

Ye-eun gets them into the discreet club she frequents, taking them to one of the private rooms far down several twisting hallways and away from any prying eyes. The extensive paperwork required to even enter would ensure their anonymity, but the added sense of privacy certainly helped the nerves simmering in Hyoseob’s chest.

Ye-eun herself doesn’t look that different from the persona she plays when live or in her music videos, a mixture of punk aesthetics with her black and white plaid skinny jeans and combat boots with a sheer black top underneath a pink leather harness that somehow perfectly matches her hair. It’s loud, flashy, and the way she carries herself is assured in a way that even Hyoseob finds himself being taken in by.

They sit together on a leather couch that faces an x-frame with obvious hooks for where one would chain someone’s ankles and wrists respectively. To the left is a bed, but Hyoseob doesn’t bother glancing at it. It obviously won’t be in use. Ye-eun moves to stand in front of both of them, pulling her phone out of her back pocket and flipping through something in it before looking at them.

“The person who offered is an idol. I’m sure I don’t have to reiterate how important it is that everything we do stays in here and I mean that on a personal level not a legal one,” Ye-eun says. “She doesn’t need any more shit from people in the industry.”

“We wouldn’t,” Hyoseob says. Next to him, Dongwook nods.

“Okay,” she says with a nod. “This is how it’s going to work. I’m going to bring her in. She’s going to be blindfolded but she does know who you are. I operate using the stoplight safe word system, which means you say red if you need things to stop completely, yellow if you want to slow down or have a question that requires me stopping what I’m doing, and green if you’re okay and I ask. She will use those too, but considering the circumstances I want you to both feel comfortable using them, understand?”

“Understood,” Dongwook says.

“Alright. In that case, I’ll be right back.”

She steps back from the couch and heads towards the bed, opening a door that must lead to another room like this or perhaps just a bathroom. It doesn’t take long for her to return leading a blindfolded Jennie Kim behind her by the hand. Hyoseob watches as Ye-eun guides Jennie with an easy touch, stopping when Jennie stumbles and then moving to grab her forearm instead and walking beside her.

Jennie is dressed simply – a black sports bra without a visible brand and small matching bike shorts that barely go below her ass. Around her ankles and wrists are thick padded cuffs with what look like custom pink metal chains on them which Ye-eun clips to the x-frame when they reach it, spreading Jennie’s legs wide with her back to where they sit on the couch. The chains give her about three inches of room to move her legs, but she leaves them where Ye-eun put them.

“Hands,” Ye-eun says.

Jennie moves her arms back and lets Ye-eun clip the cuffs on her wrists together so that her arms are bent at her elbow and cross the middle of her back parallel to each other. There’s much less give in these.

"We’ll start with the basics,” Ye-eun says, looking back at them. “Things you can do with your hands – slapping, pinching, scratching. Your hands are your most versatile tool because you can control the strength and easily switch between the different sensations you’re utilizing.”

Ye-eun shifts to the side and cracks her hand with no warning against the swell of Jennie’s ass, the motion whip fast and so sudden that Hyoseob and Dongwook both jolt, their knees knocking together. Jennie doesn’t even twitch. It hits Hyoseob then that the chains serve a double purpose. If Jennie moves at all, there will be an obvious noise, something she can’t hide by remaining silent.

“Subs like Jennie don’t find something as simple as a slap to be all that rewarding, no matter how hard of a blow,” Ye-eun says. “But if you vary the pace and strength, you can keep your sub in suspense so they don’t know what’s coming next – that anticipation is what becomes rewarding to them. It’s less about pain and more about being thrown off balance.”

As she speaks, her hand moves again, light slaps to Jennie’s ass, then down to her thighs, over her hips, faster and then stopping all at once. She lays another slap down her right thigh, this one loud and hard enough that Jennie’s skin begins to blossom red the moment Ye-eun pulls her hand away, but the only response she offers is a harsh inhale that Hyoseob can hear from where he’s sitting.

“Why would anyone want to be off balance?” Dongwook asks.

"Depends on the person,” Ye-eun says. “Maybe you have to hold onto control too much in your day job.” She lands another harsh slap to Jennie’s ass and blends that into smaller but quick hits to her thighs right after. “I’ve had others tell me that if they’re thrown off balance enough, they finally stop trying to get their footing and that in itself is more pleasurable than an orgasm. You realize someone else is in control.”

Another harsh slap to Jennie’s left thigh and then Ye-eun drops into a crouch, dragging both her hands down Jennie’s thighs using her nails and Jennie jerks hard, the chains rattling as she does so. The effect of the shift from slapping to scratching is obvious from the noise, but when Hyoseob looks, he can see Jennie’s hands have curled into fists. Ye-eun straightens back up and threads a hand into Jennie’s ponytail, yanking her head back.

At this angle, Hyoseob can only see the hint of the snarl on Jennie’s face, and he can’t hear at all what Ye-eun whispers in Jennie’s ear before she pushes Jennie’s head forward again, releasing her grip on her hair. Jennie’s hands unfurl and she shifts her feet back where Ye-eun had first put them. It’s different seeing what he’d watched in porn happen in front of him. It’s easier to see the chemistry, the way it’s less about pain and more about what the pain is used to do. It’s a tool Ye-eun uses to push and manipulate Jennie into a space they both want.

When he glances over at Dongwook, he notices Dongwook’s dull nails biting at the hole in his jeans, clawing at the threads. He nudges Dongwook’s side.

“You good?” he asks.

Dongwook nods, the motion tight as his tongue pokes out to play with his lip ring. “I’m just…thinking.”

Hyoseob doesn’t mind the answer. Dongwook’s nerves are apparent, but he doesn’t seem like he’s legitimately uncomfortable.

"I would stick to things like that to start. Stay away from organs in general, but the chances of you doing any serious damage even if you hit the back with your hands is pretty small,” Ye-eun says, her voice drawing both of their attention back to her as she walks over to the small chest beside the x-frame. She opens it and pulls out a paddle made of pink leather. The theme, if it hadn’t been apparent before, certainly is now. “This is a basic paddle. The size is large enough to diffuse the pain. The smaller the paddle, the more pain. This is where you want to be careful about where you hit.”

She unhooks Jennie’s wrists from each other and reaches to put them up on the x-frame instead. Using the paddle, she points to where the kidneys are as well as a few other spots to be careful to avoid and then puts the paddle to use. She avoids the areas she pointed out and uses the same sporadic technique as before, this time roaming her hits all over Jennie’s back, ass, and thighs, landing a few even on her calves. By the time she’s done, Jennie jerks with every hit, small choked noises escaping her before she bites them off.

Watching her, Hyoseob can’t help but wonder how Dongwook would respond. He thinks of what Ye-eun had said about how pain could be used to force someone to stop thinking, throw them off balance until they had no choice but to give in and let the other person take control. It’s a lot like what they do with Jiho, but instead of pain, it’s pleasure that overwhelms him. He wonders if Dongwook would cry out or if he’d bite back his responses and fight giving in the same way. He wonders how sweet the release would feel when he finally gave in and let Hyoseob control him completely.

“For what you would want to start with, I think your hands and a decent paddle would be more than enough,” Ye-eun says, shaking her arm out. Jennie’s skin flushes with heat from the pain. “But I’m going to move on to some items Jennie prefers because the other aspect of all this is what the sub gets out of it and how it can be caring even if it doesn’t seem that way on the surface with what society teaches us.”

“I’m fine with continuing,” Hyoseob says. He glances at Dongwook. “You?”

Dongwook nods. “Yeah. If it’s alright.”

Ye-eun moves back to her chest and sets the paddle down beside it before reaching in and pulling out a flogger. Unlike everything else, this is just black, plain and simple. She starts with a twirling motion, almost like a caress against Jennie’s upper back, but with each twirl the force gets stronger and stronger until the straps are truly hitting her, the sound deeper than the earlier slaps had been.

The tension in Jennie’s body becomes more pronounced. She jerks in her bonds, the noises that escape her becoming more drawn out as Ye-eun switches to her thighs, keeping her strikes precise and snapping her wrist back before the ends of the flogger can curl. Just as she’s getting a good rhythm built up, Ye-eun stops and Hyoseob watches, somewhat awed, as Jennie’s entire body braces in anticipation. The only sound is Jennie’s rough breathing, the wet sound of tears on each shaky inhale echoing around them.

As the seconds tick by, Jennie begins to relax, her fingers uncurling, a slight bend showing in her knees as she almost hangs in the confines of her bonds. Ye-eun raises her hand up, the motion silent. Her wrist snaps forward and the flogger strikes across Jennie’s upper back and this time, a loud yell escapes Jennie and a moment later, she dissolves into tears, her whole body shaking and trembling.

“That’s it,” Ye-eun says. “Cry for me sweetie, that’s exactly what I want. Give it all up to me, just like that.”

Ye-eun’s voice carries over the sound of the flogger striking Jennie’s back over and over, calm and clear as it cuts through the gut wrenching sobs Jennie lets out in response. After one particular hit, Jennie almost seems to spasm, yanking at her bonds. She goes limp again a moment later. It’s like that had been her last desperate attempt to wrench control back, but it’s too far gone to work. Ye-eun tosses the flogger aside and shifts to the other side of the x-frame so she can face Jennie. Whatever conversation they might have it too quiet for Hyoseob to hear, but its punctuated by the occasional wet sob.

He lets out a rough breath of his own and looks at Dongwook, taking in his dilated pupils and the way he stares at Jennie. There’s the sound of Ye-eun undoing the bonds and when Hyoseob looks back at them, Jennie is slumped in Ye-eun’s grip, face buried in Ye-eun’s neck even as Ye-eun pets her hair and kisses her temple. It’s amazing, really, how willing Jennie had been to let herself be exposed like this to them. Perhaps it’s because they’re in similar positions. Well. As similar as they can be considering how many people seem to hate her these days. It…makes him feel good. Being worthy of that trust, even though he’s just an observer, is satisfying. He imagines with someone like Dongwook, someone he loves and has been in love with for years, that feeling would be magnified.

The thought makes the hard on he’d promised Ye-eun not to get feel more like an imminent threat.

“I’m going to take care of her and then I’ll be back,” Ye-eun says. “Give me ten minutes okay?”

“Got it,” Hyoseob says.

Ye-eun smiles and then leads Jennie back from where they came from, an arm firm around her waist to guide her back towards the connecting room. The blindfold that’s still in place despite her tears makes it necessary. No sooner does the door shut behind them does Hyoseob end up with Dongwook in his lap.

Fingers grab at his neck, his jaw, their lips pressing together in a wet and messy slide. He seizes the back of Dongwook’s neck, holding his head steady and gentling the kiss back down until Dongwook’s panting against his lips, words slipping out between each breath, gasping as he slides his tongue against his own piercing.

“I want it,” he says. His teeth knock against Hyoseob’s lips. “I want you to make me…like that…I want…I-“

Hyoseob drinks down whatever else he’d wanted to say by kissing him harder, his own arousal making him lose his head. In his mind’s eye, he can see it, Dongwook shaking and overwhelmed beneath his hand, forced out of his head until he can’t think, until he’s just something for Hyoseob to shape and mold. Until the stress and anxiety and self-doubt is beaten to nothing. He imagines Dongwook surrendering over to him, trusting Hyoseob to hurt him until he feels safe and loved and the thought has his fingers digging into the soft swell of fat at Dongwook’s hip, hard enough to make Dongwook gasp.

The noise jolts him back to reality and he pulls himself away from Dongwook’s lips. It’s hard to focus with Dongwook staring at him with eyes gone dark from the way his pupils have widened. He wonders if he looks as fucked out as Dongwook does. Still, he can’t afford to not be with it here, not when Jennie had trusted them so much. The last thing he wants to do is disrespect that trust even if she isn’t around to see it or be aware of it.

“We have to stop,” he says, placing a hand on Dongwook’s chest to stop him from leaning into another kiss.

“Oh…yeah…” Dongwook bites at his lip piercing again before slipping off his lap and back onto the couch beside him, the flush in his cheeks making it hard for Hyoseob to resist following him.

The door opens a second later and Ye-eun peeks her head out. “Hey, this is probably gonna take longer than I thought. Can we talk later tonight? Are you guys okay?”

Hyoseob looks at Dongwook and then back at her before nodding. “Yeah, we’re okay. Tell Jennie thank you. We both really appreciate it the demonstration.”

Ye-eun smiles. “I’ll tell her. And I’ll call you guys later, okay? Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything or have any questions!”

Hyoseob hopes he can be as thoughtful and caring as she is if he and Dongwook really do this. He has no reason to think he won’t it’s just…uncharted territory. It’s not so scary with someone by his side though.

-.-

On some level, Hyoseob expects Dongwook to get spooked after the high of what they’d watched wears off. He braces for it, but the moment they get back to Dongwook’s place, he has his arms full of Dongwook again and his eager kisses. Their knees knock together as they struggle to get their shoes off and there’s a part of Hyoseob that knows they need to stop and talk and clam down, but there’s another part of him that’s just excited to see Dongwook excited. It’s not that Dongwook isn’t an enthusiastic partner when it comes to sex. He’s just…more in his head. Most times, Hyoseob can see the gears turning in his head, the calculations he runs with each movement and touch as he tries to perform what he thinks they all want. Sometimes, he relaxes enough to really experience the sensations, but it’s harder for him.

In a lot of ways, he thinks Dongwook and Seunghyun are different sides of the same coin when it comes to making their partners happy.

Seeing, and feeling, how enthusiastic Dongwook is, Hyoseob can’t bring himself to be smarter about it. He lets Dongwook kiss him breathless, walking him backwards down the hall as he tugs on Hyoseob’s jacket for leverage before pushing that off his shoulders somewhere near his bedroom door and yanking at him by his shirt instead. It lights something up in him, seeing Dongwook so eager. They push and pull each other’s clothes away and Dongwook’s hand flails out to hit the switch of the bedside lamp as he tumbles into bed with Hyoseob already kissing at the soft skin of his neck and jaw. He slides his hand up over Dongwook’s left side, over the soft flesh that pads his ribs and then stops, hesitating a moment before digging his blunt nails in with the lightest pressure and dragging them back down the path he’d just made.

“O-oh fuuuck…”

Dongwook jerks beneath him, so Hyoseob does it again, feels Dongwook’s cock twitch against his hip as he does it, feels his own hair shift at Dongwook’s responding exhale.

"You like that?” he asks, nose brushing just beneath Dongwook’s ear before he nudges his head up to graze his teeth against Dongwook’s earlobe.

“Harder…”

Hyoseob obeys, sliding his hand over Dongwook’s chest instead and doing the same thing again, parting his fingers so they scratch right over his nipple. Dongwook groans and his hips thrust upward into Hyoseob’s weight before he shudders away again and Hyoseob can feel the way his skin jumps beneath his touch as he rubs over the red lines he’s left behind. There’s so much he wants to try. He wants to see if Dongwook likes the bright pain of scratches or the thud of the paddle or the sting of his hand. He wants to see which one makes Dongwook lose control.

“H-Hyoseob…you…f-fuck…yes all of that…”

It speaks to how out of it Hyoseob feels himself that he hadn’t realized how much of his thoughts had been spilling out in rough pants against Dongwook’s neck. He wonders if this is how it feels for Ye-eun. The power of being trusted is stronger than any liquor or drug he’s ever had.

“Roll over,” Hyoseob orders as he pushes himself off Dongwook.

Dongwook obeys, rolling onto his stomach and then grabbing his pillow to curl his arms around and rest his head on. Hyoseob grabs one of the spare pillows and guides Dongwook’s hips up long enough to slide it underneath and he watches as Dongwook grinds down into a moment before he seems to remember himself and buries his face in his other pillow.

“No, it’s good,” Hyoseob says. “Do what feels good. Tell me if you like what I do to you too.”

It’s the only warning he gives before smacking one of his hands down Dongwook’s ass. Dongwook’s legs jerk in response, one of his thighs knocking into Hyoseob’s knees where he sits next to Dongwook. His hand stings from the hit. His thoughts jumble together, a deep instinctive part of him welling up in horror that he’d delivered such a harsh smack, but a greater part of him is preoccupied with the way Dongwook gasps out his name in response. After a moment of hesitation, he hits Dongwook’s thigh.

The sound is harsh and bright, and so is the sting in his own hand. Dongwook’s skin blooms red just like he thought it would, and he hits him again on the thick meat of his thighs and then back up to his ass, watching as Dongwook grinds down on the pillow with each hit. Fascination – that’s what he feels as he watches Dongwook’s skin flush. He delivers small hits, over and over, until his thighs and ass are hot to the touch and wordless noise spills from Dongwook’s lips.

Then he stops and stares, taking in the sight before straddling one of Dongwook’s thighs and placing both his palms on Dongwook’s ass. The heat from what he’d done warms his palms. He rubs down, keeping his touch light. Dongwook’s skin shivers and jumps beneath him as he slides his hands back up again, and then, just as he had done to Dongwook’s side and chest, he digs his nails in and scratches down the swell of his ass over the sensitive skin.

Dongwook’s back arches, head flying back, his heel kicking as Hyoseob’s lower back as he chokes on a noise that might be Hyoseob’s name but might be nothing at all. Hyoseob breathes out and does it again and watches as Dongwook shakes all over. He collapses back down on the bed, body going limp except for the way his hips jerk, a telltale sign that Hyoseob has managed to make him come, just like that. It takes him aback that it had been that easy, but he supposes it makes sense given that neither of them is really used to it. A moment later, his brain catches up with what’s going on and he has enough for thought to pull Dongwook over onto his back, moving himself out of the way so Dongwook has room to flop down.

Come smears across his belly, his cock still hard but softening. Hyoseob leans down and presses a kiss to Dongwook’s panting lips as he stretches out beside him. He slips his hand down, sliding it through Dongwook’s come and giving his cock a warm, wet stroke just to watch Dongwook’s eyes flutter and hear the hurt, overwhelmed sigh escape him. Then he brings his hand back up, sliding his come-slicked fingers into Dongwook’s mouth and watching as Dongwook’s eyes slip shut and he sucks.

There are things that help ground his partners after they come. Jiho likes being held down, laid on. He says it helps him feel like he’s being held in his body so he can’t escape. Hyuk likes being kissed, the intimacy of it helping him feel centered, and Seunghyun likes to cuddle, tangling their limbs together and getting the attention he so badly craves but doesn’t feel comfortable taking until he’s too lost in a pleasurable haze to feel bad about it. Dongwook…likes this. Something, anything really, in his mouth. It’s sort of cute, the way he constantly does something with his mouth when he’s nervous, or even just thinking. Hyoseob has never talked to him about it. He has a feeling if he drew attention to it, Dongwook would get insecure about it, so he keeps his observations to himself.

He thinks sometimes even now Dongwook struggles to really think they aren’t all going to up and leave him.

"Fuck…” The word leaves Dongwook in a slur as Hyoseob’s fingers slip free of his mouth

“Yeah?” Hyoseob asks. He kisses Dongwook’s cheek, then shifts so he can kiss Dongwook’s lips instead.

“Mmm…” Dongwook hums into the kiss. “I…should I…”

His hand flails down, grabbing at Hyoseob’s thigh and Hyoseob knows what he’s offering but he just shakes his head. “It’s okay, I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

Dongwook’s eyes open at that and he turns on his side so he can look at Hyoseob, their foreheads pressing together as he does so. “And are you okay? We didn’t really talk first.”

It’s scary the way Dongwook is able to just tell like that. He wonders if this is how the others feel about him when he pinpoints how they’re feeling. “I think I’m okay. I really liked it, but I think part of me is still freaked out that I liked hurting you.” His voice is hushed as he speaks and he presses closer as Dongwook’s fingers trail over his hip, up and down and in soothing nonsensical circles.

“I liked it,” Dongwook says. He grins, his breath puffing out over Hyoseob’s lips at a short laugh. “You made me fucking come from spanking and scratching me, of course I liked it. You hurt me, but you hurt me in the best way. That’s what makes it okay.”

The knot of guilt in Hyoseob’s chest doesn’t vanish at the words, but it does seem to loosen a little at least. He exhales, rough, as Dongwook’s fingers drift down to curl around his half hard cock. He hadn’t been lying when he said he didn’t need this. Staring in Dongwook’s eyes, seeing the remnants of the blissed out space he’d pushed Dongwook with the mixture of pain and pleasure, it makes his own enjoyment not feel so bad.

“Tell me what you liked about it,” Dongwook says. His lip ring bumps into Hyoseob’s tongue when Hyoseob wets his lips.

“I liked how it made both our skin sting,” Hyoseob says, barely a whisper. “I liked that we were sharing it like that, that I made us both hurt.”

“Yeah?” Dongwook swipes his thumb across the tip of Hyoseob’s cock and then strokes him again, his grip warm and soft. “What else?”

“I liked…oh…”

Dongwook pulls away long enough to spit in his hand, and then it’s back on Hyoseob’s cock, wet and messy and Hyoseob feels like they’ve gone back in time to the first frantic time they’d fallen into bed together. It’d been so chaotic and fast, spurred on by their own anxiety and lust and unknowing if this was going to be a one-time thing or something more, back before they all knew what they were doing.

“I like this, I like doing something new with you,” Hyoseob gasps out. “I like…fuck, Dongwook…ahh…like learning with you…”

The laugh that escapes Dongwook is fond and his nose knocks against Hyoseob’s as he steals another kiss, this one short. “You’re amazing…”

Before Hyoseob has a chance to ask Dongwook what he means by that, he’s coming all over Dongwook’s hand and his stomach, gasping and shivering his way through it, his nails biting into Dongwook’s upper arm. The last of the guilt melts away with it, and with Dongwook’s lips pressing to his again in a sloppy kiss. They both felt good, they both enjoyed it, so it’s fine. They aren’t bad.

“Why did you say I’m amazing?” Hyoseob asks as Dongwook rolls away to grab some tissues off the nightstand. He sits up as he wipes himself down with the one Dongwook hands him.

"It’s just…” Dongwook kicks the dirtied pillow off the bed and moves to clean off his own stomach before throwing the tissues after it. He looks over at Hyoseob. “You get turned on by…I don’t know. It’s sort of like you get turned on by how you feel for us, and I think that’s cool. It sounds weird when I say it.”

“Not any weirder than me feeling it,” Hyoseob says. “You’re not wrong. That’s…that is what turns me on. It’s not the pain or hurting you, it’s what it does for you, and how it brings us closer…that’s what I get off on, I think.”

"And that’s not bad,” Dongwook says, voice firm.

Hyoseob nods. “Right.”

-.-

They experiment from there. Hyoseob almost feels bad from the way they end up wrapped up in each other, but the other three don’t seem to mind. Jiho especially seems uncomfortable with the whole concept that he doesn’t even want watch. Hyuk and Seunghyun seem far more interested, but Dongwook still seems too uncertain about it. In a way, Hyoseob thinks he is too.

Ye-eun sends them a box of toys once they tell her the types of pain Dongwook seems to like. Pinwheels like spurs, the dull metal edges digging in with biting pain. Clothespins with little pads specifically created to use all over the body, pinching and sharp. Hyoseob uses them all, decorates Dongwook’s chest and thighs with lines and red marks that show against his skin, stark and beautiful whenever he’s naked. He likes that even when Dongwook is with the others, his marks are on Dongwook. Reminders that Hyoseob cares.

It’s not that he feels the need to mark Dongwook out of ownership. The five of them have never been jealous of one another and the relationships they all hold with each other on an individual level. It’s more like…the idea that whenever Dongwook needs to remember he’s loved and cared for, he can just look at his body. That’s what makes a low level of satisfaction hum in the back of Hyoseob’s mind whenever they’re apart.

"You really do get turned on by emotions, huh?” Hyuk asks.

He’s stretched out in Hyoseob’s bed, long hair pulled up in a ponytail and leaving his cherry blossom tattoo on easy display for Hyoseob to kiss and suck at.

“What do you mean?” Hyoseob asks as he runs his fingers up and down the center of Hyuk’s bare chest.

"You’re turned on by how much you love us,” Hyuk says. He tils his head to the side, sighing as Hyoseob grazes his teeth along his skin, following the path of one of the branches of his tattoo. “It’s…really hot honestly.”

“I can’t help it,” Hyoseob says, pulling back and looking at Hyuk. “It’s just like…I don’t know. You described it pretty well.”

Hyuk smiles up at him, then reaches out to rub his hands along Hyoseob’s shoulders and upper arms before sliding up to cradle his face too. “It’s a good thing. Just make sure you never do anything you don’t want to. Sometimes I get worried you’ll push yourself into doing things because you love us so much, but then I remember you’re also one of the most self-aware people that’s ever lived.”

Hyoseob can’t help but roll his eyes at that. He appreciates that Hyuk cares though. Before he can move in for another kiss though, Hyuk ends up speaking again.

“And I do want to watch sometime,” Hyuk says. “Maybe there’s something that I’ll want to try too after all.”

“Maybe next time,” Hyoseob says. “I’ll ask Dongwook.”

“Mmm…”

If Hyuk has anything else he wants to say, it must not be important. His hands trail back down Hyoseob’s body, and the conversation gives way to something much more enjoyable.


End file.
